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SMALL GROUP LEADER'S MANUAL
REASON We Have CARE GROUPS DESCRIPTION of our CARE GROUPS Typical Meeting The Group Year FELLOWSHIP Place of Deep and Honest Sharing Ways Group Leaders Can Respond To Sharing PRAYER BIBLE STUDY Goal: an Open Book Goal: Obedience Preparing to Lead a Bible Study How To Help Silent Members Join In SERVICE LEADERSHIP in the Care Group The MULTIPLICATION of the Care Group Place of Care Groups in CHURCH ORGANIZATIONAL STRUCTURE Appendix 1: Ministry Description for Care Group Leader Appendix 2: Sample Group Covenant REASON We Have CARE GROUPS Small groups are the New Testament pattern. Jesus' earthly ministry involved much time with a small group of twelve disciples (Mark 3:14; 6:7; 9:35; etc.) and an even smaller circle of three persons (Mark 5:37; 9:2; 14:33). The early church met both in large corporate worship and in smaller groups in homes (Acts 2:41-46). This pattern continued (Acts 4:4; 5:42; 12:12; 20:20; Rom. 16:5; Col. 4:15). Small groups provide opportunity for persons in the church to receive one-to-one spiritual care. We live in a time and in a world that is marked by individualism and isolation. Natural networks of relationships like family, work place, and neighborhood have been breaking down. And we need healthy, supportive relationships to help us to grow. Care groups offer opportunity for dialogue, for careful listening and reflective response--for supportive relationships. If a person wants spiritual care, he or she needs to get into a group! Small groups are essential to achieving the level of helpful relationships described in the New Testament. How can we "carry each other's burdens" (Gal. 6:2) unless we are familiar enough with each other to know what difficulties each other are dealing with? In large groups there is not time for each of us to unveil our struggles--nor do we want to do so before so many strangers. How can we "spur one another on toward love and good deeds" (Heb. 10:24) unless we regularly talk about our lives with each other? (See also Eph. 4:15,16; 1 Thes. 5:14; Heb. 3:12,13; James 5:16.)
Small groups provide a setting in which all can participate, allowing members to develop ministry skills and new leaders to be formed. Small groups release the church from many limitations. There is no way that pastors alone can meet all the needs and opportunities for ministry in a local congregation. Moses tried it and his father-in-law advised, "what you are doing is not good!" (Ex. 18:17). God is calling pastors to train and equip leaders in the congregation to shepherd small groups of persons. If these lay leaders are well-trained and filled with the Spirit of God, there are almost no limits to what God can do in and through his people. Buildings will not limit us because every home becomes a potential place for ministry. Staff will not limit us because the lay people are doing needed ministry. Finances will not be a limiting factor because small groups cost almost nothing. DESCRIPTION of our CARE GROUPS to index Name Their name, "care groups," describes their main function: a place where we care for one another and from which we care for the world. Size The groups are formed by 6-10 persons who have a common desire to experience Jesus and who commit themselves to gathering together weekly. Group Life The life of a Care Group can be described as flowing in three directions: inward as members interact with one another; upward in encounters with the living God; outward as members reach out to serve those in need. Initially groups will need to spend a large portion of time building relationships with one another and encouraging each other to grow into a stable life of consistent obedience to Christ. But after 4-5 months they will be able to increase the amount of time reaching out to others, since 1) the bond and trust members feel for each other should be strong and 2) as members grow in maturity, replacing the sinful habits with habits of righteousness, love of neighbor is one of the new behavior patterns. to index Typical Meeting of a group. Typical use of time for a Care Group meeting lasting an hour and a half: 15 minutes - catching up on each other's lives; singing or prayer The first 5-10 minutes of "catching up" are important. The meeting begins with that activity. It only "starts late" if the members are not there at starting time. 30 minutes - Bible study Some sharing of lives should take place during the Bible study. Then this time can be lengthened (and the sharing time which follows can be shortened.) But save plenty of time for sharing, since most of the current struggles and joys members are facing will not be covered in the Bible study. 45 minutes - sharing joys and needs; reports on missions projects and answers to prayer; prayer Sharing and prayer are given more time than Bible study because Bible study also happens in Sunday School and the weekly sermon. Care groups give opportunity for us to tell our stories and encourage one another which is unique.
Another use of time for a Care Group meeting lasting an hour and a half: 15 minutes - catching up; singing 45 minutes - a member shares spiritual pilgrimage (first weeks) or member shares something from personal devotions (remaining weeks of year); sharing joys or needs; prayer 30 minutes - Bible study; prayer of application/commitment to index The Group Year September - each Care Group Leader posts a sign-up sheet for persons choosing to be in their group. During this time, members of all the groups are free to change from one group to another (though most groups may start up again with the group largely intact). Persons not in a group have opportunity to join one. On the sign-up sheets, we make it a priority to define/advertise the groups according to the geographical area they will take as their mission (rather than according to type of Bible study, etc.) Some groups may reach out to a specific human need, for instance, a substance abuse support group. There are major benefits when persons choose to be part of the group focusing on the community they themselves live in: outreach happens easier when it is our own neighbors we are inviting, when we are serving needs in our own neighborhood; fellowship and interaction during the week happens easier between group members in geographical proximity. However, geography is not the only factor in determining which group a person should join. If so, a member couldn't invite a friend to his or her group if that friend was not a neighbor. Another factor considered in forming groups is "homogeneity," that groups be largely composed of persons who are social peers. Part of the human reality is that we more quickly build deep relationships with persons of similar values, interests, and life situations. September - groups begin their life together with group-building exercises. Get- acquainted exercises or ice-breakers help the group members least familiar with the others in the group feel acquainted and comfortable with the others. Questions that stimulate sharing can help group members reveal themselves to each other (eg. "If you could vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go?" or "What do you do on a typical Thursday?") Perhaps during the first weeks one group member each week will share their spiritual pilgrimage. September - each group makes a covenant, clarifying expectations and making mutual promises about their shared life. Among expectations a group's covenant may address: purpose and goals of the group, frequency and location of their meetings, nature and content of their meetings (focus), and the roles of members and leadership within the group. Also degree of preparation for group study, confidentiality of any personal information shared in group, and degree of commitment to regular attendance. (See APPENDIX 1 for example.) Though covenants should be written, they can be as loose or well-defined as the group wants them to be. A group covenant can help build members' sense of commitment to the group. As a member participates in the covenant making process, helping establish a common understanding of what this group will be like, he or she is given a sense of ownership and responsibility to help make the group's goals to happen. Covenants should be limited to specific periods of time. A group might re-covenant every 3-6 months. This allows any new persons to help shape the nature of the group, picking up ownership, and allows for concerns that have arisen in the interval to be dealt with. January/February - groups re-covenant for another 5-6 months. June - each Care Group celebrates their life together since beginning. (If the groups wait until August, they may have less to celebrate: sporadic summer attendance will probably take its toll, and some may be away on vacation.) summer - the groups continue to some degree during summer. Every other week all the groups will meet at the church for a combined Bible study; during the prayer time, they will form as groups. During the alternate weeks, a Care Group may sponsor an all-church fellowship event. On weeks there is no church-wide event, a Care Group may choose to get together informally for fellowship or for a regular meeting--though with drastically scaled-down expecatations for attendance. to index FELLOWSHIP Each Care Group provides a place for deep, close-knit sharing in order for group members to support one another in Christian growth and ministry. Common sharing during the year may include: any discoveries about God and his will in the past week ways one has been tempted in the last week; and how the person responded acts of ministry a member attempted last week--or would like to attempt this week any current situations in which you ask "what would Jesus do if he were me?" how are you now emotionally? spiritually? your plans for next week (your schedule, who you will be with). Social Events Many group gatherings are social events, with any spiritual input occurring informally. The purpose for these gatherings is to "have a good time" and, most importantly, to build relationships. to index Place of Deep and Honest Sharing Care groups are to be Christ-centered, not sharing-centered. The goal of group life is not to have members sharing deeply about themselves; the goal is an encounter with Jesus our Lord. So rather than guiding group members to tell everything about themselves (temptations, struggles, bitterness, anxiety), we guide them to read the Bible, worship, pray, and fellowship--all ways we encounter Jesus. But as group members feel love and trust for one another, it is not long before one shares deeply and honestly about himself or herself. "I have this neighbor I see often who doesn't know the Lord...." "There's this situation at work, and I don't know how the Lord would want me to respond...."
"Would it help if I prayed for you at certain times when you're going to see your neighbor, that God would help you share the Gospel?" "This biblical principle might apply: do you remember in one of the Gospels where Jesus says...?" And as the group regathers, we'll hear the words, "How did it go with your neighbor?" "...at work?" The better someone knows us, the better position they are in to help us. Bible study, worship, and prayer can happen in other church structures, but the Care Group is the only structured setting for fellowship with its rich potential to help us obey our Lord. The group leader models this openness to share. Sometimes just one person who is willing to be humble enough to ask for help or to share a problem can open up the group to an atmosphere of honest sharing. to index Ways Group Leaders Can Respond To Sharing Listen patiently to honest sharing. Honest sharing flows from willingness to be oneself, to be authentic, to admit both abilities and needs.
When a group member says or does something with which the leader disagrees, most times the leader should not express his or her disagreement. The leader should correct another only when he or she is sure the other will be helped by being corrected (often we correct another because it makes us feel good). Since most people experience someone disagreeing with them as a put-down, the gentlest way to give correction is to share personal experiences and convictions without sending messages that they should be the other's experiences and convictions too. Only if the issue at stake clearly involves the heart of the Gospel should the leader openly confront and counter a group member (see page 9). Redirect selfish sharing towards love. Some sharing is to get attention. The leader responds to such self-centered sharing by gently nudging the one sharing towards obeying Christ in whatever situation they are sharing about...which ultimately means love for others.
Redirect superficial sharing toward personal responsibility. The same passage which asks us to "bear each other's burdens" goes on to say "each one should carry his own load" (Gal 6:5). The first refers to a burden of great weight, too heavy for anyone to carry alone; the second refers to a much smaller load which any healthy person should be able to handle without help. Some persons only tend to share concerning physical needs or others' problems. A leader can ask, "How is this affecting you? Do you feel hurt by your friend's struggle?" Often a member will share the same concern meeting after meeting (with the others in the group becoming increasingly indifferent to that person and their need.) The group needs to hold the person accountable to act on any insights he or she has received in that area. If the person still makes no progress, evidently there is a deeper need that needs counseling. Look for what God is already doing, and become part of it. When a person shares a need, the group should look for what God is doing or saying in that person's life, and move or cooperate with that. Look for even a glimmer of God's grace, and then affirm it, build on it. to index PRAYER in the CARE GROUP Every sharing time ends with prayer and intercession for one another. Only God can transform lives, so we depend on him, asking for his grace and power, listening for his guidance and correction.
There are many ways groups handle prayer requests: someone keeps a list of requests and then reads it before the prayer. The group stands and joins hands. The leader invites several to spontaneously pray for the requests, asking one group member to close the prayer time. when a person shares a burden they are struggling with in an emotionally raw way, gather around immediately to pray from them, touching them. after a person explains his/her prayer request, pray very simply, "God, we commit this to you. Amen." have "guided prayer" in which members pray silently or aloud for a succession of concerns as the leader prompts them.
Work to keep the prayer times authentic and fresh: 1) Occasionally handle prayer requests in a way differently than normal in order to break routine and reestablish freshness. Dropping the normal way might mean dropping the way you feel is best to pray for the needs of the group. But because of its side effect (breaks routine), using a less-than-ideal way can be quite valuable. 2) Avoid prayers comprised of cliches and spiritual-sounding words not used in everyday speech, particularly the word "bless." Prayers laden with religious-sounding phrases add an artificial atmosphere to the meeting. Model prayer from the heart, saying only the things you really mean, exactly how you think or feel at the moment, in honesty and openness. Such prayers are generally halting, with empty spaces as the one praying gropes for authentic expression. 3) Requests for Aunt So-&-So or others around the world are often raised. "My uncle's neighbor's mother's best friend is in the hospital--would y'all pray about it right now?" When praying for third-person needs, pray for both the need and the one bringing the request in their relationship with Aunt So-&-So. What can the one who shared the need be doing in the situation?
to index BIBLE STUDY Each group spends some portion of their time together studying the Bible. They may decide to study a book of the Bible, a Bible topic, or some other Christian book drawing on the Bible. This time helps keep the group rooted in God; it helps their meetings not be a mere pooling of human wisdom (or ignorance). Before a Bible study it is good to spend time in prayer and/or worship, knowing Jesus' presence as we quiet all other voices and align our will with his, bringing him into the circle of our cares and concerns. The goals of the Bible study are that members see the Bible 1) as an open book and 2) as a book to be obeyed. to index Goal: an Open Book There are many in the group who will not read their Bibles at home but will read them in the context of a group Bible study. The leader's goal is to let the Bible become an open book in the group.
Discovery happens best through a leader asking questions and then nurturing a good level of dialogue around those questions. The Holy Spirit is to be the teacher. The leader only guides the discussion, doing less than 20% of the talking. to index Goal: Obedience The focus of the discussion of the Bible must be application. It's goal is not understanding for understanding's sake, but understanding for the sake of obedience. The leader should have as his or her foremost thought in all discussion: "I want to guide this discussion in a way that will help Joe or Mary obey the Bible." Not "...so that Joe or Mary will think like me on this topic." (Sometimes the leader may believe that getting the others to think like him or her is a helpful strategy to help them obey. The leader should observe whether the strategy succeeds. I suspect it won't--the group will get lost in a maze of ideas.)
to index PREPARING to Lead a Bible Study Since the Bible is a large work with 66 different books, 1189 chapters and 31,178 verses, the Care Group will need to study portions of it at a time, such as the following categories: Category Example Book -- Jonah Chapter -- 1 Corinthians 13 Verse -- John 3:16 Word -- forgiveness Biography -- Abraham Symbol -- sheep Relationship -- David and Jonathan After choosing a passage, the following are ideas for leading a Care Group in Bible study: 1. Find a Bible study guide (like the Serendipity Group Study Bible) with discussion questions for the passage. Read the passage carefully, seeking to understand what it is saying to the group, what it wants the group to do. This understanding now gives an objective or aim for the Bible study. Use it to evaluate the suggested questions in the study guide--delete all questions that are not crucial to the aim! Value: Helps members quickly get at the heart of a passage.
2. Divide the passage into daily readings to encourage members' daily quiet time as a life discipline. Members can write notes about what God was showing them. Then, in the group meeting, each person can contribute what they learned about the week's verses. The leader is a facilitator to let them "teach" from their personal study. Value: Helps members read the Word daily. 3. Another idea is to spend one week observing the facts of the passage. Then, spend the second week discussing the meaning of the same passage. Then, the third week is devoted to finding ways to apply what God is saying through the Word. Value: Helps members learn how to study the Bible inductively. 4. Simply read the Scripture out loud together. Several chapters can be read each meeting. While some members may not feel confident to read aloud in a group, the more people who participate in reading expressively, the more interest there will be in hearing the Word. Value: Helps members receive exposure to longer portions of the Bible.
to index How To Help Silent Members Join In allow ample thinking time. Let the silence hang for 5-10 seconds.
When using direct questions to draw out specific silent members, start the questions with their names. This alerts them and gives them thinking time. reinforce participation. Stress its value and then reinforce it when it happens. For example, restate a point someone makes. Foster an open climate. Accept different opinions. be alert when people give non-verbal clues that they are about to speak. A common example is the preparatory deep breath. When you see such a clue, focus your eye contact on the person to prompt a response. Discussion Helpers Examples The information-seeking question Can anyone tell us more about Nineveh? The encouraging question Has anyone else ever felt the same way as Sue? The clarifying question Greg, are you saying that... The open-ended question What is the Lord saying to you about this? The summary question What is the key verse of this whole passage? The task question What should we do to help Bill out? Discussion Hinderers Examples The loaded question Do we really think we are doing what God wants? (Rather: "How could we more effectively do God's will?") The statement "question" Why can't you stop being so wishy washy? (Rather: "How easy is it for you to make decisions?") The close-ended question Did you week go okay? (Rather: "Tell me about your week.")
Never pressure anyone to pray, read, or speak. Don't directly ask someone a question unless you know them well. Some of you may remember from school days how you would fill up with fear when you thought you might be called on to read or recite. Many adults carry the same fears with them today. to index SERVICE Each group also spends some portion of their time together ministering to others outside the group. Care groups care for one another...and for persons outside the group. Obedience to Christ will always, in the end, result in our serving others. The Care Group is not perceived as just a place to get members' needs met.
2) They may even decide to minister together in a community outreach or as one of the church committees. 3) They will individually and as a group listen to and build relationships with the "poor" around them. Each group should be open to God bringing into their group a needy person they are to help. Persons may be "poor" materially, relationally (be lonely, lack parenting skills, etc.), or spiritually. Group members, as a community, can encourage one another and can increase each other's effectiveness as resources are pooled.
to index LEADERSHIP in the Care Group Each Care Group is led by a team. The team leadership of the group includes an experienced, established leader and a leader-in-training. Leaders are chosen on the basis of character, not gifts (1 Timothy 3:1-7). The Care Group leaders meet regularly with the elders for prayer, reflection on the group experience, discipling, and leadership training. (See APPENDIX 1 for group leader job description.)
to index The MULTIPLICATION of the Care Group much of this section is adapted from Cell Church, vol.3 no.2, p.5; Cell Group Leader's Handbook (EMM, Salunga PA), p45 Healthy cells must multiply or they stagnate and die. When your group grows to about 15 members, it should multiply (that is, the group become two groups) as soon as an apprentice leader or intern is ready to take responsibility for one of the groups. Since disciple-making is the goal of the Great Commission, healthy groups will consistently want to welcome more and more people. Why are new people important? new people bring new insights and creativity to a group new people confront the notion that the Holy Spirit only wants to bless me and a few friends new people keep us walking in faith rather than increasing in the comfort of depending on the familiar
After a 6 to 9 month internship, the Intern becomes Leader of one of the Care Groups formed when the cell he or she is in multiplies. Here are helpful steps for the actual multiplication: discuss the vision every group meeting--this mentally prepares members for growth. as the multiplication date nears (when the cell becomes two cells), ask members to prayerfully consider which group they will be in. Reassure them that the kinship they feel towards one another is Christ among them. He will be among them in the new Care Group as well. Deep, meaningful fellowship depends on the presence of the Spirit, not on whether a certain group of people are together. it is critical that a group multiplies along lines of relationship to the leadership. List the Leader and Intern of both groups that will be formed. Begin to prayerfully place groups of people under these leaders. Be sensitive to deep relationships already developed within the Care Group. The goal isn't to break up friends or destroy healthy relationships. talk openly about feelings of normal separation pain. It is natural for group members to grieve over the idea of "breaking up" the group, especially if relationships have become close. on the night of multiplication, have a party to celebrate the new birth, and stress that multiplying doesn't mean that people are forbidden to contact those in the other group. Cross- Care Group interaction is encouraged and builds church-wide unity. to index Place of Care Groups in CHURCH ORGANIZATIONAL STRUCTURE Care Groups are the only place in our church life where church members will receive regular attention as to how they are doing spiritually. We anticipate that many church fellowship events and most new ministries or outreaches of the church will flow out of Care Group life or through persons affirmed and strengthened by their care group. (It is important, though, that these persons run their ideas or plans past the commission overseeing that area of church life for the sake of coordination). During some group meetings, time may be spent processing congregational concerns: hearing a report from the elders on an issue; responding with counsel to elders. preparing any counsel to the elders or a commission (eg. concerns on an area of congregational life.) APPENDIX 1 to index MINISTRY DESCRIPTION for Care Group Leader Your task is to serve, care for, and encourage a group of 5-15 people who enjoy being together, who grow in the Christian life, and who actively reach out for the Kingdom of God. 1. Lead weekly group meetings in the power of the Holy Spirit, making sure the following actions are present in some way: accept and listen to each other open the treasure of the Bible and apply it worship God for who he is and what he has done encourage each other in supportive, accountable relationships pray for each other and the world around you reach out to others who need Jesus Christ and fellowship 2. Model Christian discipleship and maintaining personal spiritual growth. 3. Help the pastor with the week to week care of the persons in your Care Group. Examples may include: informal visits, calls, contacts, including Sunday mornings concentrated attention during crisis times (coordinate this with pastor) Ask high-need persons who hinder group life to leave; turn responsibility for them over to the pastor. 4. Help train an apprentice leader who will be prepared to branch off with a new group. 5. Be faithful to personal family needs. 6. Meet monthly with the Elders and other Care Group Leaders for mutual support, counsel, and training in doing #1-5. Meet monthly or quarterly with the Care Group Overseer for personal encouragement and mentoring. QUALIFICATIONS for Care Group Leader 1. Maturity in a relationship with Christ and the power of the Spirit. 2. Called and committed to the vision of the church. 3. Committed to be servant and team player with other leaders. CMF - Corning NY 11/18/1994 APPENDIX 2 to index 1. The purpose of our group is... (check one or more) __ to get to know one another and become a caring community __ to learn to fellowship with God and to see His will more clearly through Bible study, etc. __ to support one another in our struggles and ministries __ to reach out to others __ 2. Our specific hopes or expectations are... 3. Our leader is... His/her responsibilities in our meetings are to... 4. Other leadership or servant roles we need include... 5. We will study... 6. We will meet regularly: on ___________ (day of week or month) from _____ to ________ (beginning and closing times) at _________________ (place or places) 7. A typical meeting schedule might look like this: _____ to _____ we will ______________________________________________________________ _____ to _____ we will ______________________________________________________________ _____ to _____ we will ______________________________________________________________ _____ to _____ we will ______________________________________________________________ 8. Ground rules concerning the following: Bible study preparation/homework... Inviting new people to the group... Absences... Prayer and availability during the week... Confidentiality... (adapted from Called To Care, by Palmer Becker)
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